Infidelity in Three Easy Steps

People are unfaithful to their spouses.  It happens everyday.

As a pastor, people come to me and confess their infidelity, or their spouse’s infidelity.  They are broken and heartbroken, usually repentant and sorry, or sometimes just sorry they got caught.

I encounter this far too often from followers of Jesus who should know better.  I’m dealing with it again today.

And I’m really getting tired of seeing the same pattern over and over.

So let me share this with you as a warning, or at least a plea to not fall into this.

The pattern:

Step 1: Develop a close, one-on-one, caring relationship with a member of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.

Step 2: Begin to give yourself permission to think thoughts about that person and have feelings for that person that you should reserve only for your spouse.

Step 3: Give it time.

Let me be clear: Friendships with people of the opposite sex are not wrong.  However, far too often people overestimate their ability to handle them rightly and their resolve to maintain their fidelity.

I wish it weren’t true, but I see it again and again.

So enter Step 1 with care and trepidation.

And if the needle even begins to move into Step 2, tell your spouse immediately, as well as anyone else who’s got your back–your best friend, your pastor.

And step away from that relationship.  No friendship is worth sacrificing your marriage or your integrity.

There.  I said it.

I wish I felt better.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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2 thoughts on “Infidelity in Three Easy Steps

  1. Rob:
    Your ability to candidly address real life issues is amazing. Thank you for being brave enough to explore such topics openly and lovingly with your congregation. Maybe someone will read this and it will change lives.